Everyone wants their Jenkins servers to be performant and stable to enable them to be agile and deploy software as quickly as possible. But all too often we see monolithic Jenkins servers being used by multiple teams or even the entire company. Sure, it runs fine at first, but eventually so many users, jobs, and plugins are on-boarded that performance issues arise constantly. In this presentation we are going to show you how to split your monolithic Jenkins server into many horizontally scaled instances to increase performance and happiness for all.